What Have I Done?
by Follower of Pan
Summary: My version of What Have You Done. Script Format.


PB: Go capture the Ice King and bring him to me.

''(Back in the present)''

Jake: Hmm...She didn't really explain anything.

Finn: I'm sure she's got a good reason.

(They drag Ice King face down to a dark and gloomy Candy Kingdom. His cheek is caked with blood, and he has small open cuts on his nose and face.)

Finn: Where is everybody?

Jake: Yeah this place is deserted, except for that guy.

''(Someone in a dress and beak doctor mask comes walking towards them spraying fumigation gas)''

Mystery Person: Ich bin hier, Finn.

''(Finn and Jake scream, the Mystery Person takes off her mask and reveals herself to be PB)''

PB: It's me, the princess. Did you bring him?

Finn: Sure did.

''(Jake shows Ice King, who mumbles, and PB smiles)''

Finn: So, what did the Ice King do to...

PB: ''(Makes an inaudible sound)'' No time! Now quickly, with me!

''(They go to PB's Castle and walk up to a wall)''

PB: Hablah!

''(Stone face appears on the wall)''

Stonesy: What's the password?

''(PB squeezes his cheeks)''

Stonesy: ''(Laughs) ''Oh, you got me! ''(Opens his mouth into a doorway)''

Finn & Jake: Secret door!

PB: This stairway leads to the dungeon where we'll toss that lousy Ice King!

Finn: What awful thing did he do to get tossed in there?

PB: He didn't do anything. Not a thing.

Finn: Wha?

PB: It's a long story, Finn. You see the Ice King...

Manfried: ''(Over an intercom)'' Princess Bubblegum, you're needed at once in the Grand Hall.

PB: No! I need more time! ''(Flips over a table)''

Manfried:'' (Hanging over on a tree with a bullhorn) ''Gosh, I'm sorry.

PB: Alright, alright, I have to go. You two just guard the Ice King until I return (Creepily) and be prepared to make him ''howl with pain.''

Finn: You got it, princess!

''(They go to the dungeon, an owl flies overhead as Finn, Jake, and Ice King stand around a table)''

Ice King: Oh, this is a total rook!

Jake: Settle down prisoner! We gotta record your belongings. One magical crown,''(Whispers to Finn)'' probably stolen.

Ice King: I didn't steal it! I bought that item, bought it from a dock worker in Scandanavia! So hand it over or I'll strike menacing poses at you! ''(Starts striking poses and Finn sprays him with a heavy-duty fire hose)''

Finn: Cool it, inmate! ''(The water begins to whip Ice King)''

''(Ice King is in a jail cell with only two bars)''

Ice King: These bars can't hold me forever! You fools have no business guarding prisoners.

''(Finn and Jake are putting on helmets)''

Finn: Oh yeah? Well how 'bout these helmets we found? And we got the oculus of rehabilitation!

Ice King: Hmm?

''(Ice King looks up and there is a giant eye looking at him)''

Oculus: Be better!

Finn: And the shelf of penitence  
>''(Ice King's crown is on a shelf sobbing with water coming from under it)''<p>

Ice King's crown: ''(Sobbing)'' I'M SORRY!

Ice King: (Pokes the Oculus of Rehabilitation. It shrieks and squirms away.)

Ice King: So what am I being charged with?

Finn: Umm...

Jake: Five counts of jerkateering. Ha!

Finn: Yeah, what does it matter anyway?

Ice King: Gah! Of course it matters! The way things work is first, I trangress your meaningless rules and then you maliciously persecute me! That's the only necessity of a functioning government!

Finn: That makes sense. You do bad stuff, I punish you.

Ice King: Fool! You have disrupted the established order! I have commited no recent crime! You have no reason to lock me up!

Finn: Really? Umm...

Ice King: ''(Laughs)'' I'm rockin' your worldview! Give it a day, maybe two, but you just wait. There will be armies marching to your front door with "Rebellion" on their lips.

Jake: Yeah right. Everyone hates you.

Ice King: "(Giggles)" That's the best part! They won't care what I've done or will do!

Finn: Jake, he's starting to convince me we're doing a bad thing.

Jake: Dude, ''(Licks him)'' be calmed by my saliva and think of all the terrible things he's done.

Finn: Yeah...yeah! You're still a jerk that deserves to be in jail.

Ice King: Oh yeah? You know who really deserves to be in jail? I will show you the true jerks!'' (Pulls out a mirrored covered with a blanket behind his jail cell bunk bed)'' Behold! ''(Lifts the blank off the mirror but in doing so extinguish the candle in the cell)''

Finn: Uuh, it's too dark.

Ice King: Behold! ''(Brings the mirror into the light but it shatters at the botton when he puts it on the floor) ''Wha, Behold! ''(Holds it in the air but it falls apart, Ice King groans and gasps and walks up to the cell bars with a mirror piece in his hand and puts it in Finn and Jake's faces)'' Behold the true jerks!

Finn: The jerks is us? Jake am I going crazy? It seems like the Ice King is right about this. But that's totally backwards! And if he's in the right, that means we're in...

Jake: The Candy Kingdom!

Finn: No, it means much, much worse.

''(Turns to the jail cell where Ice King is in bed and opens the door)''

Finn: On your feet.

Ice King:'' (Gets out of bed)'' Is it time for my hour in the yard, boss?

Finn: No, we're letting you go. We decided that it's wrong to imprison you.

Ice King: This is a trick huh...

Finn: Get out of here before I change my mind!

Ice King: ''(Walking out of the cell)'' There must be someone waiting outside, yo beat me. Ooh, is that my crown over there? ''(Goes offscreen)''

Jake: ''(Sighs)'' I'm glad that's all taken care of.

Finn: No, quite yet.

''(Finn goes into the cell and pull Jake inside with him and closes the door)''

Jake: Awww...

Finn: Sorry, but since we're the bad guys this time, we gotta go to jail.

Jake: This sucks.

Ice King: Hey!

''(Finn shrieks)''

Ice King: Get out of my room!

Finn: You're still he...just get out out of here, man!

Ice King: So, you're really breaking me out?

Finn: Like I said, It's wrong to imprison you.

Ice King: ''(Tearing up)'' You mean, you believe me? Oh, can it be? Has all the hatred between us trasmuted into something more? A friendship? A best friendship. ''(Sticks out fist for a fist tap)'' Knux? ''(Finn slaps his fist away)'' Oh ho ho, slaps of disgust, eh? Let's call them "Slappy D's"! Okay, see you later, my bosun friends!

Finn: I am no man's bosum.

Ice King: Cast "Detect Secret Door"! ''(He shoots a magic blast and a tunnel opens under the stairway) Success! (Runs away into the tunnel)'' Wa ha ha ha!

''(Just after he leaves, PB pops out of a tunnel on the floor)''

PB: Sorry for the delay.

Jake: Man, there are a lot of secret door around here.

PB: ''(Puts on pink iron gloves and picks up a small sharp tool)'' And now, Ice King, prepare to howl with ''(Sees he's gone)'' pain?

Finn: Wow, she's so proud we did the right thing, she almost looks enraged.

Jake: Uh, Finn...

PB: ''(Takes off the gloves)'' Where is the Ice King?

''(Outside Ice King is flying away)''

Ice King: Finally! Freedom and friends ''FOREVER!''

''(Back in the dungeon)''

PB: What have you done? ''(Flips over a table and snarls)''

Finn: (Proud of himself) Freed a semi-innocent man from a cruel and unusual punishment!

''(The cell door opens and PB grab Finn and Jake)''

PB: I'll show you what you did. ''(Carries them away)''

''(In the Grand Hall, PB unveils a curtain)''

Finn: AHHH!

''(The room is full of Candy People, covered in ice and lying on cots, sick and spreading ice to other Candy People)''

Starchy: Heah, even old Starchy's sick.

PB: A plague of Freezer Burn Flu.

Finn: Ice King did this?

PB: Well, yes and no. ''(Flashes back)''

''(In the Candy Kingdom)''

PB: ''(Narrating)'' It happened 3 days ago.

''(Ice King flies overhead)''

Ice King: He, Hey Princess, check out my new trick! ''(Starts rubbing flakes out of his beard)'' It's snowing it's snowing for you!

''(Snow falls on the kingdom as the Candy People play in it)''

PB: ''(Narrating)'' We don't think he was trying to spread disease, but soon the entire kingdom was infect by his beard flakes.

''(Candy People turn blue and shiver, PB is in her room reading)''

PB: ''(Narrating)'' Through my research, I quickly discovered that the only way to cure my people was to obtain the pained howls of the Ice King himself.

''(In the Ice Kingdom, PB is riding Lady Rainicorn with a sound device over a mountain Ice King is on top of)''

PB: ''(Narrating)'' But when I pleaded with him directly...

PB: Please, I beseech your aid. In the name of common decency!

Ice King: So let me get this straight...you're hitting on me.

PB: No!

LR: ì§„ì‹¤ë¡œ, ë‹¹ì‹ ë „ ë‚´ ì—¬ìž ì ˜ ê²½ë©¸ì ˜ ìƒ ë¬¼ì ˜ë‹µì§€ìž…ë‹ˆë‹¤. (Verily, you are a creature unworthy even of my lady's disdain.)

Ice King: I think I heard the word "Veril" in there. Oh, she is definitely hitting on me.

PB: No!

LR: ì•ˆë ¼! (No!)

Ice King: (To himself) Keep it cool, keep it cool! (Turns around to see PB and LR are gone.)

PB: ''(Narrating)'' He had his chance to help and he did nothing!

Ice King: Oh my gosh, she came to me this time! "(Squeal!)"

''(Flashback ends)''

PB: I had no choice but to try and take his wails by force.

Jake: By getting us to beat the tar out of him for you.

PB: Or other means.

Finn: I can't just beat up the Ice King for nothing. That's against my alignment.

PB: I know, I know. You're right. ''(Starts to cry)''I just- I don't know what to do anymore!

Finn: But I'll get him to give up those howls. Voluntarily. I swear it.

PB: Oh thank you, Finn. I...''(Cries)''

Finn: ''(Places hand on her face)'' Shhhh...

''(In the Ice Kingdom, Finn and Jake are running towards the Ice King's Castle)''

Jake: Dude, how are we gonna get those howls?

Finn: Oh, I gotta plan to trick him, but you won't like it.

Jake: That sounds omiminous. I don't like it!

"(As they walk to the Ice Kingdom, Marceline flies by)"

Marceline: So how's you're little "Torture-The-Ice-King" fiasco going?

Finn: We're not going to torture him. We're the good guys!

Marceline: Hey, I'm 1000 years old, my moral compass doesn't exactly point North. but either way, it looks like yours doesn't either. Make a grown man, who by the way considers you his only friend, cry and scream, or condem an entire Kingdom to a plauge of Freezer Burn Flu. Such drama!

(She flies off)

''(They enter the castle)''

Finn: Ice King, come forth!

Ice King: I'm coming forth, I'm coming forth! He he, is that the voice of friendship I hear? ''(Walks in the room with a boardgame)'' So, are you fellas ready for game night?

Finn: Game night? Well, that's weird.

Ice King: What? Why?

Fin: You do know how friend act, right? You've had friends before.

Ice King: I...yes.

Finn: Yeah, so you know how friends are always howling in pain for each other.

Ice King: Yeah...right! Everyone knows that! ''(Laughs awkwardly)''

Finn: ''(''''Holds up the sound device)'' Will you howl for me, pal?'''

Ice King: Oooh, of course, friend.

Finn: Well that was easy.

Ice King: AAAAAAAGGGHHHH-hehehehe! Oh, I've got the sillies! I couldn't possibly without giggling uncontrollably. I'm just so giddy about you being here! ''(Laughs, falls on his back and grabs the bottom of his cloak and rocks  
>''(A shrunken Jakes jumps on Finn's shoulder)''<p>

Jake: We're out of options. Let's just beat it out of him.

Finn: No, Jake! We...

Ice King: ''(Gets up)'' Wait a sec, ther's a bug on you, friend. Smack! ''(Smacks Jake and in doing so hits Finn)''

Finn: Grr...Biscuits, now's my chance!

Ice King: ''(Shuffling through the board game, picks up a game piece)'' You know, I carved these game pieces from my own teeth.

Finn: Boo hoo, boo hoo, boo hoo, boo hoo...

Ice King: Huh, crying?

Finn: Boo hoo. You hit me Ice King. I don't think I could live any more knowing my best friend hit me.

Ice King: I was only saving you from poo poo palms!

Finn: I'm dying because I know you care not for me. ''(Play dead)''

Ice King: No! No, my...my friend! What have I done? My friend! ''(Picks up Finn)'' My only friend.

Ice King: Why? Why? ''WHY?''

''(The scream is so loud it reach the Candy Kingdom, where the ice falls of the sicken Candy People)''

Starchy: Starchy's feeling healthy again!

'(More Candy People are cured, and Ice King's wails grow louder and more pained. It is painful and depressing to hear. Soon it is unbearable, yet the candy people still do not react.)

PB: Es ist das Ende. Es ist abgeschlossen. Mein Volk ist gerettet. Also, warum ich verletzt? Warum fühle ich mich auf diese Weise? Was wurde getan, war notwendig. Aber war es, was richtig war? Ach Finn, Was bin ich gezwungen, zu tun. Was ich gezwungen sie, Sie zu tun. Glob Oh, Was habe ich getan? (Leaves the room quickly.)

''(Back in the Ice Kingdom)''

Ice King: WHYY? Never again will I care for a living creature! Never again! Gunter! Dispose of Finn's carcase! (Leaves.)

''(Finn pops up)''

Finn: ''(Sad)'' Hmmm.

Jake: Awesome! Those wails must have reached all the way to-

Finn: Did you see the Ice King?

Jake: Well, yeah, but we got the job done and that's what counts, isn't it?

Finn: (Ignorring Jake) All this time he just needed someone to care for him, and I abused that. Look what we've done. What I've done. Glob, what have I done?

Rough Translation of PB's Monolouge: It is the end. It is finished. My people are saved. So why do I hurt? Why do I feel this way? What was done was necessary. But it was what was right? Oh Finn, What I am forced to do. What I forced you to do. Oh Glob, What have I done?


End file.
